Murder: Why It’s a Rip-Off, Not a Solution (Help for Stressed Out Aggressives)

Passive temperaments are easily horrified by the notion of killing someone–especially when the method used is violent and hands on. It takes a lot for a passive to get to the point where he would seriously considering killing someone else, and in such a situation, he’d be prone to using a subtle method in which no direct contact is required.

But for aggressive temperaments, murder is a far more appealing option. Aggressives naturally process their distress by lashing out, and violently mowing down one’s enemy, or physically beating the life out of him, can feel intensely attractive to a stressed out aggressive. When aggressives are being forced to act like passives–which is often the case when they are trapped living with an aggressive parent or spouse who punishes them for expressing their upset in lashing out forms–the internal desperation is greatly amplified, and this makes the desire to kill even stronger.

All humans have a core need for self-respect, which means they must be able to look in a mirror and see someone who they can genuinely respect before they can feel comfortable in their own skins. There are kinds of respect. Your soul needs to be able to morally respect you. Your subconscious doesn’t care about morals, but it does care about safety, and it has a strong need to feel that you have sufficient defenses available. This second form of respect centers around the issue of power. Any time a human feels too stripped of power, they become psychologically distressed. When they feel that they have severely violated their own moral code, they become spiritually distressed. Having your soul or your subconscious in a respect crisis is enough to make you acutely miserable. If you throw both elements into a crisis at the same time, then your quality of life will plummet even further.

As an aggressive who is feeling sorely tempted to murder a certain antagonist in your life, it is vital that you understand the principles I just explained. Because while your current crisis certainly needs to be addressed, actually killing someone–especially in the brutal form that your subconscious is pushing for–will actually make your internal situation much worse.

Here’s how it works in the real world with murder. Your subconscious becomes obsessed with the idea of killing when it feels like it is in desperate need of evidence that you are powerful. The need to brutally beat the life out of someone or pump them full of bullets or torture them long and slow are all driven by the same basic psychological crisis: you feel stripped of essential power, and you are trying to symbolically regain that power by lashing out. The problem is that once you do the deed, you get royally ripped off. Before your subconscious can bask in the relief of you feeling powerful again, your soul starts freaking out about the immorality of what you just did. Then you get carted off to prison, where you find yourself trapped in a community of other stressed out aggressives, many of whom are physically able to assault you. Entering into a community in which the pecking order is already firmly in place makes it very hard for you to get to the top with any expediency. Any passives who are in prison will cluster around aggressives for their own protection, and now you’ve got whole gangs to contend with. Just as you tried to regain your power by killing, the traumatized aggressives you meet in prison will be grappling with the same desperation you felt, and that means they will be highly motivated to dominate you and make you eat dirt as often as they can in order to make themselves feel better. So after murdering to regain power, you’ll end up feeling stripped of power again, which will pitch your subconscious right back into the crisis it was trying to get out of. Plus you’ll have the additional problem of your soul freaking out over what you did. Plus you’ll have far more enemies within prison than you had to deal with on the outside. Plus the whole prison structure is one big cage and aggressives do not do well in cages.

The critical point I’m trying to get through to you here is that murdering someone isn’t worth it. Not because it’s immoral, but because it won’t achieve your end goal, which is to improve your quality of life.

I really understand how aggressives get to the point of wanting to kill, and I truly sympathize with what a tantalizing solution murder can seem like to a traumatized subconscious. I also appreciate that lectures on morality will go in one ear and out the other once you get to the point of seriously wanting to kill, because your subconscious is the one pushing for this agenda, and your subconscious doesn’t give a darn about morality. It wants peace. It wants relief. It wants to feel powerful again. These are all valid goals, but we need to come up with a plan for you that will actually work, not backfire.

Your subconscious is extremely logical, but when it is stressed, it tends to get tunnel vision, meaning that it doesn’t see all of its options. There are other ways to fix your power crisis that don’t involve putting you at risk of ending up with a whole new crop of bullies in your face.

The first order of business is to increase activities in your life in which you can safely vent your pent up distress while also feeling powerful. In a previous post, I explained why violent video games can be especially helpful for aggressives, and I would urge you to give this venting style a serious try. Even if you haven’t played video games before and think you wouldn’t like them, you will probably be quite surprised at how satisfying they can be. Modern video games have stellar visual effects, and many look extremely realistic. Many games are set up so that you can just walk up and attack people in violent forms, choose snarky responses from a list of dialogue options, and engage in high adrenaline activities like racing cars at crazy speeds and jumping into intense battle situations. Pent up aggressives have intense anger that needs to be vented. Video games offer a safe way for you to do that. Because aggressives naturally want to vent their frustration in verbal and physical forms, video games that allow you to be a snarky little twerp and physically attack people without getting into trouble with the law in real life can be extremely therapeutic.

Keeping yourself corked up is a dangerous thing to do, especially when your subconscious starts producing graphic fantasies of killing someone. Such mental obsessions indicate that your mind is feeling overwhelmed by stress. Taking practical steps to start relieving some of that stress can be the critical difference that keeps you from doing something that will only worsen your situation.

Like every other coping method that your mind comes up with, the desire to murder another human is driven by a logic which your subconscious can quickly become obsessed with to the point that it can’t see other options. Talking to someone who isn’t going to get hung up on the issue of morality can be very helpful.

Now for any passives that have read this post and find my recommendations horrifying, realize that effective therapy methods must be tailored to the individual. For many passives, violent video games would not be a good idea, but would instead increase their psychological distress. Therapy is not a “one size fits all” situation, so when you read my material, pay attention to who I am directing my advice at. This post was written specifically for traumatized aggressives who are feeling an intense desire to kill someone in real life. Such a crisis is as valid as any other internal crisis, and in every situation, there are practical steps we can take to help reduce stress.

This post was written in response to a request.

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